it gets thrown back in your face.

Why bother?

So, as many of you may now know I am throwing a party for Jasmine. Well, she wanted to invite some guys and since the only guy I know is a friend of a friend I asked Ann Marie (the friend) to ask Fabian (the friend of a friend) if he wanted to come and she reported back to me that I'd have to talk to him in Japanese and I asked if I could just do it at lunch. That was fine and I followed Ann Marie to the computer room where it was so freaky. It was like a city of nerds doing their own thing, laughing at nerdy pictures, talking about math ect. I don't know if I should admit it but I liked it there. Isabella would totally kill me if she ever heard me say that. But it was really nice, they had their own social system and way of doing things. And Fabian, my god, he was the popular guy. It was so warped.

Ugh, painting & Drawing class. Don't mind the 'ugh', I actually LOVE it even though I suck at drawing. It's a nice, fun, light class. The perfect way to end a monday at school. The teacher is helpful and doesn't mind if you talk and I'm with some people that I don't mind being with. Today though Jessica really irked me. She accidentally painted on the desk and then just covered it up with her paper and laughed. It wasn't funny and I told her to clean it up before it smudges and dries but she wouldn't. I'm not a neat freak or anything but that just seemed so... grade two. Alisha and I spent about 15 minutes telling her to clean it up and she wouldn't - saying it was an accident. That kinda made me mad, I mean, lets say you knock over the milk at home, you clean it up even though it was an accident. She hadn't done it by the end of the lesson and so the teacher cleaned it up which I thought was not fair at all because we'd told her over 20 times to do it and she still hadn't and so the paint had dried up and smudged. Plus the tables were all smooth and shiny when we came in and though another guy in the class had got paint all over the table he still cleaned it up without anyone asking - and he is like the most immature person in the grade. So Alisha, Emily and I ended up leaving the class kind of angry at her. I mean, for godsakes, we're in year 9 now and this is stuff a grade two needs to be told to do. Some people need to show some responsibility for their actions and grow up.

0.5 x b x h = area of a triangle
l x w = area of a rectangle
l2= area of a square
3/4 x pi x r3 = volume of a sphere
(b x b) x h = volume of a cube/rectangle
pi x r2 = B x H = volume of a cylinder
4/3 x pi x r2 = volume of a sphere
pi x r2 = area of a circle
angle/360 x pi x r2 = area of a sector
b x h = area of a parallelogram
0.5 x (a+b) x h = area of a rhombus
pi x d = circumference of a circle
2 x pi x r = circumference of a circle using radius
angel/360 x 2 x pi x r = arc length

too bad I won't remember half of this in the math test tomorrow

I'm so stressed out at the moment with school work and homework and friends and i just feel like dying. Would somebody please just make me smile today instead of crying?

So today I felt positively SPARKLING!

YOUR INFO.
Start Date: Monday March 23nd, 2009 
End Date: Sunday March 30th, 2009
Todays Thing: Get all work due in on time/Ask for help when needed/be a good friend
Info: So I have a habit of getting things in late... I finished my homework this morning before school and only one thing was due so I felt I kind of cheated. I'm struggling in math at the moment because I've been away and the teacher can't control the class and she doesn't make sense. So I swallowed my pride and asked Caitlin to help me, and it was good, she really did help a lot. There are still some things I don't understand so she said she would help me tomorrow too. And today, I found out that we have a CLOSED book math test tomorrow. how awesome right? I'm so going to fail.  Today at lunch time Jess (one of my friends) was kind of exiled from the group because she said a mean thing to Jasmine and Jacqui doesn't like her much. She did apologise and she did say she wasn't thinking, and I know its hard to forgive but she's a friend of mine and I don't have a problem with her because she doesn't tend to think before she speaks. So at lunch time she was standing all alone and my heart went out to her, it really did because I know what it's like to be that girl. So I told her to come stand with us, and she didn't get a very walm reception but I tried to include her and asked her to sleep over sometime and invited her to the library with me and Caitlin. It looked like Jasmine patched things up with her while me and Cait were doing math so it's all good? I felt kinda warm and fuzzy afterward.

Tom's Thing: Smile more. I don't do it a lot so I should make an effort to. Maybe smiling all day will rub off on me.

So you don't want me anymore?
A sick kid is too much for you?
You don't even know how sick I am.
If you would like me you wouldn't last a week.
You'd just crack into a million little pieces.
You think you're stronger than me?
That you have more mental strength?
You don't even have a job.
I've been on this earth for fourteen years.
You don't know me at all.
you don't know me at all...

I'm attempting a letter to my nanna.
I doubt it will work.
It will probably make everything worse.

This is just getting crazy freaky.
It started out with a thought.
No, I'll never get to go to Sweden.
Then the assembly
I went to Sweden when I was fifteen... it was really fun... you can do it with the exchange
Then the crazy dreams.
Are you having fun in Sweden? It's so cold here in Sweden... It's a miracle that I'm in Sweden.
Then the random conversations I overhear
Sweden... You should go to Sweden... I've never been to Sweden... sweden... Sweden... SWEDEN
Then the phone call
Hi, this is _____ from Southern Cross cultral exchange... So I hear you want to go to Sweden...
This is getting crazy.
Why is all this stuff happening if it's never gonna happen?

1. Last beverage→ water... boring
2. Last phone call→ oh god...I don't use the phone. EVER. um... I think it would be when I rang Jasmine two weeks ago and told her dad to tell her I called.
3. Last text message→ Grace... forever ago.
4. Last song you listened to→ Take Me or Leave Me - Rent Soundtrack
5. Last time you cried→ Early February

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Nope.
7. Been cheated on?→ Nope.
8. Kissed someone?→ Nope.
9. Lost someone special?→ Yes
10. Been depressed?→ Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up? → Nope

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. purple
14. red
15. silver

HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yes
17. Fallen out of love → Yes
18. Laughed until you cried → My eyes have watered on a few occasions
19. Met someone who changed you→ Yes
20. Found out who your true friends were → Yes
21. Found out someone was talking about you → Yes
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → No
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → Two.
24. How many kids do you want to have→ I'm not sure if I want kids
25. Do you have any pets → Two dogs, two cats
26. Do you want to change your name → Yes. I'd change my last name to my mothers maiden name (Dawson) and not sure about my first
27. What did you do for your last birthday→ My dad forgot and I had some friends over and we went for a walk in the pitch black night and Caitlin spent forever snogging Josh
28. What time did you wake up today → 10-11 (I overslept)
29. What were you doing at midnight last night → in bed trying to sleep
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Sweden 2010 (my impossibl dream)
31. Last time you saw your father→ A few hours ago
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ I can't name just one
33. What are you listening to right now → My dad on the phone in the other room
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? → I was talking to a person named Tom today... he gave me lollies lol.
35. What's getting on your nerves right now? → certain people.
36. Most visited webpage → LJ
37. What's your name→ Full: Caroline Jean Azzopardi (why mum WHY?)
38. Nicknames→ CJ, Caz, Cazzie, Carol
39. Relationship Status→ single
40. Zodiac sign→ Libra (em you know I'm more of a serial killer than you right?)
41. Male or female or transgendered→ Female
42. Primary→ Glen Orden Primary - Iramoo
43. Middle School → (no middle school in aus)
44. High school → Werribee Secondary - Staughton College - Werribee Secondary
45. Hair colour → Brown > brown tinted red
46. Long or short → Front is shoulder legnth, back is a little longer
47. Height → 170-something cm.
48. Do you have a crush on someone? → Nope
49: What do you like about yourself? → Physically? Nothing.
50. Piercings → Ears
51. Tattoos → Not yet but I want one
52. Righty or lefty → Righty

FIRSTS :
53. First surgery → none.
54. First piercing → ears - five years old
55. First best friend → Sinaway (haven't seen her since I was 5)
56. First sport you joined → LOL. never.
57. First pet → Barney (I still have him, he's my doggie)
58. First vacation→ Never been on one.
59. First concert→ Never been to one.
60. First crush → A guy named Jackson when I was 6

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nothing
62. Drinking → nothing
63. Already missing → daytime
64. I'm about to → Shower
65. Listening to → Saw IV in the other room
66. Thinking about→ tomorrow
67. Wanting to → sleep

YOUR FUTURE :
68. Want kids? → not sure
69. Want to get married? → maybe
70. Careers in mind → Not sure. Possibly a writer/teacher

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? (<--- Ignore the opposite thing if you want)
71. Lips or eyes → Eyes
72. Hugs or kisses → Hugs
73. Shorter or taller → taller
74. Older or Younger → doesn't matter
75. Romantic or Spontaneous → i don't know
76. Nice stomach or nice arms → doesn't matter
77. Sensitive or loud → I like a mix
78. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
79. Trouble maker or hesitant→ both

HAVE YOU EVER :
80. Kissed a stranger → No
81. Drank hard liquor → No
82. Lost glasses/contacts → No
83. Had sex on 1st date → No
84. Broken someone's heart → no.
85. Had your own heart broken → no
86. Been arrested → No
87. Turned someone down → Yes
88. Cried when someone died → No, and I'm not ashamed of it. Sure, I was sad when my Nonna and Nonno died, but I barely knew them and i didn't know my uncle at all.
89. Liked a friend of the same sex? → Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself → Not really
91. Miracles → No.
92. Love at first sight → no
93. Heaven → no...
94.Santa Claus → totally ;)
95. Kiss on the first date? → don't know
96. Angels → No

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → No
99. Wish you could change things in your past?→ Yes.
100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → Kind of

Feedback would be awesome

Um so today Mir ran her new fanfiction past me... okay, those of you who know me are probably going "oh, she's not going to read that." But as Mir talked about it I got all into it and stuff. I won't tell you the idea because that's her job but let me tell you - I have read the prologue or whatever you want to call it and oh my god it is so awesome. Even though it's Greys Anatomy and I never ever read Greys fanfiction. Or fanfiction in general. But whatever this was amazing. It gave me bright and shiny bubbles of inspiration so I opened up Word and started writing...

 

( The woman stretched below the flickering streetlight. )

 

So feedback would be awesome. Obviously its not finished yet but I'm not sure whether to continue.

So I stayed home today, Jasmine gave me her illness. Nothing eventful happened, I fell asleep again and woke up at 11 or so. Talked to Mir. At about six I went to the doctor and apparently I have a throat infection.
Which is weird because I'm faking sick.
Well, kind of. My nose is all runny and crap and my ears sometimes pop when I swallow but my throat doesn't hurt at all.
When I was getting my medication (yeah, I have to take antibiotics... not sure thats good) the chinese lady who was serving me kinda lent over the counter all secretive right and she was like "are you taking oral contraceptive?" I dunno why I found that so funny, maybe I'm just immature lol.

Jasmine slept over on Saturday night, it was weird that her parents let her. She might be sleeping here on Sunday which is cool and we're getting Chinese for dinner (mainly because the hottest guy i have ever seen works there and she wants to see him). I told her some things to say in chinese *insert perverted smile here* (thank you google translator!).

I should probably go now even though I'm not going to school tomorrow.

So today I overslept my alarm (like usual) but my dad woke me up at 8am so it was alright. I ate breakfast and did my hair and thought how impossible Sweden would be and then we left. We waited in the office for Mr. O'Neil, our assistant principal. A few teachers passed us, I didn't know any of them except for, of course, McSatan. I said hello to her in this really sweet, evil voice and she gave me the infamous death glare of hers. Mr. O'Neil came shortly after that and sorted me into the grade, except it is 9D now and not 9H, still foundation but no McSatan. He put me into Painting and Drawing first class but he made a mistake and told me to go to 3D Shapes. As I walked into the room it kinda went silent and then someone went "she's baaaack". Miss N, who I might add is a total BITCH, didn't look too pleased to learn that I was in her class because everyone was weeks into their project and I had nothing. So I ended up drawing for the first two periods.

We had an assembly so it meant our periods were 10 minutes shorter or so. Year 9 takes place in the gym and I met our co-ordinator, Mr. Gorman who is quite nice. He read out all the boring announcements and then told us someone was here to speak to us and this lady stepped forward and intoduced herself. I don't remember her name but she was talking about exchange students and stuff. I was so tempted to tune out because I thought my dad would never ever let me go because it costs a lot but something kept me listening. She read out the list of countries we could choose from; America (aka, United States), Ireland, Germany, Italy, France, French Canada, Denmark, Finland, Holland, Japan, Norway, South Africa and wait for it - SWEDEN! That made me listen and she told us all about how when she was 15 she went on a trip to Sweden, and she stayed with a host family just outside of Stockholm, and on her first week she came face to face with a moose and people wanted to know if we had kangaroos going down our streets. She said we didn't have to know the language to go there and yes, it would be hard but people were friendly and translated for her. By then me and my friends were all OMGYES!

Recess was fun! Fun! I didn't realise how much I missed Caitiepants and Jacquetta and Jasmine Tea till I saw them again!

I went back to Mr O'Neil because I didn't have a locker yet and got my stuff and he told me that I had English and Science next. I have Mrs Manarcus for English and she was quite nice! I sat with some girls I vaguely knew and she got my name wrong and called me Chantelle. Seriously. So far this year I've been both Chantelle and Catherine. Great. I finished my rough draft before anyone else and started my good copy. The aid, Mrs Baker came up to me and started talking to me in really small words and slowly before asking if I was supposed to be in a different class and I explained and all of the sudden she used big words and talked faster. It was a little bit funny.

Science was alright, I sat with Anne Marie and Stephen Kenny, two people I knew that were okay and we made a map of the human body. There were too other people with us too but I only remember the girls name - Anh. The teacher was a bitch but bearable.

After lunch I went to Mr. Gorman, the co-ordinator and he sorted out my math class and electives, Painting and Drawing on Mondays, Japanese on Tuesdays (I only did that because that would be so awesome to be with Issy and Caitlin and drive Mr. Yoshi mad), Wednesdays Drama and then Japanese, Thursdays Painting and Drawing and Friday Drama with Caitlin. I got slotted into MAC with Mrs Owen and by the time I got to Maths there was only ten minutes left of the period so I didn't have to do any work.

IFT was fun! The teacher we had, Miss Frankish was just like Mrs T. from year 7, absolutely awesome! I didn't do any work in that class either because I didn't have any login info but I got the newsletters and stuff. It was funner than I thought it would be and I hope tomorrow is the same.

Checked the timetable for foundation last night...
I have MCSATAN for math
For math!
How is it possible for a sport teacher to be a math teacher?
A stupid sport teacher!

Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
and she's pregnant!
WTH
Seriously, is the universe out to get me this year?
What did I do that deserved a shit load of bad luck?
Did I kill anyone?
Only in stories.
Did I kill animals?
It was not my fault that the water holder fell on our mouse! You can't blame me for that!

Wish I had the money for hairdye right now.
 

So, thank you dad, for ruining my afternoon good mood. When I was starting to finally happy.

[out of nowhere]
DAD: By the way
CJ: What? *turns off music*
DAD: You're going to school on friday
CJ: What? Where?
DAD: At Werribee. You'll be doing the foundation course *walks off*

Why am I so tempted to dye my hair pink and pierce my nose?
Because Werribee has an anti facial piercing policy.
And anti natural hair colors.
So I'd get suspended/expelled.
One thing is clear.
I am NOT going back there.
Not while I am still alive and breathing.

So I've been here for four days now. Its scary. It doesn't feel as if it has been that long at all...
I've been moping under my covers for four days straight, only coming out to eat, pee, see Jasmine and shower.
There is a 1% chance Werribee will change their mind and let me back in... I want to go back, I don't want to go to Galvin.
My dad is halfway willing to let me attend school at the Werribee Community centre where I can get my year 10 pass a year early. My sister went there for a year and a half.
It's a school for misfits, people with problems, people who are different. People like me?
Maybe I need to get help. I don't want to end up a basket case like Dixon off Greys. Or maybe its too late.

I'm worried about my friend Courtney. I know its propbably stupid and all but I used to see her online at least once a day and I haven't seen her online since before I left. Caitlin says she is fine but I dunno, I just worry.
I'm worried about Jasmine too, about leaving her at Werribee. I know she won't be alone, she'll have Jacqui, Caitie and Issy and Jessica and even the pansy Josh and his angry friend Jesse (who she thinks is hot or something? I dunno, you two would make a great couple?). But I kinda feel like I was her outlet for... prawns (inside joke) and other things. I guess Jacqui could be her new 'me' but I dunno how I feel like that I'm afraid of losing contact with her.

Speaking of Jasmine, we caught up on Thursday. Got some Slurpees and walked down to the tables where we laughed about stuff and I found the initials I engraved into the table. We went and saw Chantel B. too, she has not changed at all lookswise. I havent talked to her long enough to see if her personality has changed.

Today I was awoken by my dad who said we had people coming to look at the house. I was sooo tired and quickly got dressed and made my room perfect in 5 minutes flat... Then I came out and they had left! I was very annoyed by that. My dad left shortly after and I retreated into my bed and waited for Dollhouse to be uploaded. Mir came on and we talked a bit.
I'm dying my hair tomorrow, either going Ella Scott Lynch:
( Ella Scott Lynch )
or Drew Barrymore:
( Drew Barrymore )
With both I'll also have to bleach my hair and by some kind of black hair color spray to cover it up while I'm at home. My dad would have a fit.
I'm going to my sisters tomorrow, might see baby Danika. Kathleen can help me with my hair seeing as she has done hers a million times.
I should probably sleep really soon so I'll cut this post off here.