it gets thrown back in your face.

Why bother?

So you don't want me anymore?
A sick kid is too much for you?
You don't even know how sick I am.
If you would like me you wouldn't last a week.
You'd just crack into a million little pieces.
You think you're stronger than me?
That you have more mental strength?
You don't even have a job.
I've been on this earth for fourteen years.
You don't know me at all.
you don't know me at all...

So, thank you dad, for ruining my afternoon good mood. When I was starting to finally happy.

[out of nowhere]
DAD: By the way
CJ: What? *turns off music*
DAD: You're going to school on friday
CJ: What? Where?
DAD: At Werribee. You'll be doing the foundation course *walks off*

Why am I so tempted to dye my hair pink and pierce my nose?
Because Werribee has an anti facial piercing policy.
And anti natural hair colors.
So I'd get suspended/expelled.
One thing is clear.
I am NOT going back there.
Not while I am still alive and breathing.

So I've been here for four days now. Its scary. It doesn't feel as if it has been that long at all...
I've been moping under my covers for four days straight, only coming out to eat, pee, see Jasmine and shower.
There is a 1% chance Werribee will change their mind and let me back in... I want to go back, I don't want to go to Galvin.
My dad is halfway willing to let me attend school at the Werribee Community centre where I can get my year 10 pass a year early. My sister went there for a year and a half.
It's a school for misfits, people with problems, people who are different. People like me?
Maybe I need to get help. I don't want to end up a basket case like Dixon off Greys. Or maybe its too late.

I'm worried about my friend Courtney. I know its propbably stupid and all but I used to see her online at least once a day and I haven't seen her online since before I left. Caitlin says she is fine but I dunno, I just worry.
I'm worried about Jasmine too, about leaving her at Werribee. I know she won't be alone, she'll have Jacqui, Caitie and Issy and Jessica and even the pansy Josh and his angry friend Jesse (who she thinks is hot or something? I dunno, you two would make a great couple?). But I kinda feel like I was her outlet for... prawns (inside joke) and other things. I guess Jacqui could be her new 'me' but I dunno how I feel like that I'm afraid of losing contact with her.

Speaking of Jasmine, we caught up on Thursday. Got some Slurpees and walked down to the tables where we laughed about stuff and I found the initials I engraved into the table. We went and saw Chantel B. too, she has not changed at all lookswise. I havent talked to her long enough to see if her personality has changed.

Today I was awoken by my dad who said we had people coming to look at the house. I was sooo tired and quickly got dressed and made my room perfect in 5 minutes flat... Then I came out and they had left! I was very annoyed by that. My dad left shortly after and I retreated into my bed and waited for Dollhouse to be uploaded. Mir came on and we talked a bit.
I'm dying my hair tomorrow, either going Ella Scott Lynch:
( Ella Scott Lynch )
or Drew Barrymore:
( Drew Barrymore )
With both I'll also have to bleach my hair and by some kind of black hair color spray to cover it up while I'm at home. My dad would have a fit.
I'm going to my sisters tomorrow, might see baby Danika. Kathleen can help me with my hair seeing as she has done hers a million times.
I should probably sleep really soon so I'll cut this post off here.

So have you ever noticed when someone doesnt want you to do something so you do something else, they get mad at you for doing the something else and tell you that you should have done the orginial something... so you do the originial something and then they get mad at you for doing it!

Yeah, that probably didnt make sense. I used the word 'something' a lot. nevermind.

So I woke up today all excited to hit 27k and then my sister came over so my plans of writing were sidetracked. My dad had a bitchfit about nothing that made sense. We went to the supermarket and of course I stayed in the car because of my foot. We got home and I baked cookies. They were nice.

So I started writing and then my uncle came over! HE IS LOUD> HE IS A WOG> HE IS A LOUD LOUD WOG! So no writing for me. I take my notebook and go into my room and write about a hundred words, because I am better at typing than handwriting. So I come out and everything is quiet - OMFG YAY--- or not. My uncle hovers in the kitchen and then my sisters boyfriend comes over and him and my dad are in the kitchen talking loudly like loud loud wogs.

SERIOUSLY STFU!

I HATE WRITING BY HAND. I don't want to write by hand anymore. I WANT MY PEACE AND QUIET BACK GODDAMNNIT.

So much for 27k. I'm on 25.5k. It's 10:34pm.

...I'll never get NaNo done at this rate.

So I had my whole day planned out for tomorrow with Jazz pants and then her parents had to go and ruin it by not letting her go because they afraid she would get raped or something. I found this kind of funny because where we were supposed to go all I had ever seen was a creepy old lady and her two dogs. Seriously, no gangsters or whatever.

I am not stupid and I would never go to a place where I could be kidnapped and raped and stuff. Her parents don't trust me or my dad though and I am not sure why exactly. Maybe it is the fact that my dad works a lot of the time and leaves me and my sister alone in the house, but he is a single parent, and yeah I suppose sometimes I get angry because he is not around but I know he loves us and he is doing it for us, so we can have a good life.

Jasmine is not even allowed to sleep over here. I don't know what her parents think we could get up to, I am not brave/stupid enough to go for a walk in the dark and we're both old enough to know not to play with fire or knives. All we'd be doing is sitting at my computer playing the sims and talking and then eventually sleeping. It irritates me a lot. I mean, I know she is 13 and I'm about to turn 14 but we act like mature adults most of the time, and the only things we don't do that are mature is the occasional joke that is well... not appropriate for anyone under the ages of 16 or so lol.

Anyway, we rescheduled our whoel day so now I am forced to tell my dad I have a day off. But at least she will come here so that is a plus. We're going to watch a movie and then play sims so it'll be fun and warm but I still wish we could have done our original plan.

Life sucks like that though, so there is really nothing I can do.